June 16, 2020

Two More One-On-One Black Folder Sessions

I am finding that maybe these sessions need to be one-on-one.  

I had a session with two young people (young to me) in their 30's and 40's and doing it one-on-one was great.

It was interesting allowing each of them to process the questions in their own way. 

It was interesting seeing how the questions impacted them. 

It was interesting to me that having and getting through cancer helps people understand the project more. 

In one of the sessions the black folder holder said --- "don't leave your black folder empty".  I liked that. I give them a workbook and an empty black folder.  I tell them what should be in the folder...your will, living will, power of attorney, letter to love ones, passwords to websites, etc. 

Maybe this project will be one by one. 

Next up - order more booklets and pens and keep it moving.  

Goal - Everyone has a black folder. 

June 5, 2020

Chemo Port Removal

June 5, 2020 

On this day the end of the cancer process came.  Almost a year later, removal of the port. 

2 days prior - Took the Corona Virus test. Test came back negative. 

Day of Port Removal...
  • 6 a.m.         Wait and register
  • 6:15            Prep, vital signs (my blood pressure was lower than I've ever seen it, very low,         115/70), change clothes, remove jewelry and wait.
  • 7:15           Surgeon comes in and I signed the consent and he initials on my body near the port.
  • 7:30           Wheeled into the operating room and was awake the entire time. 
      • They put my right arm straight out and my left arm was pin to my side.  I realize what a straight jacket must feel like
      • They put a grounding pad on my thigh because some type of electricity would be used

May 10, 2020

Another Mother's Day...2020

I didn't think I would see another Mother's Day.

Last year this time I was at the beginning of facing breast cancer.

Just sitting here today grateful.  Grateful that...

  1.  I am still alive
  2.  I am healthy
  3.  I am back at work
  4. I  am a mother
  5. I am a grandmother
  6. I am a sister
  7. I am an aunt
  8. I am a friend
  9. I have intelligence
  10. I have had many life experiences
  11. I know how to face adversity
  12. I am not afraid of death
  13. I got the chance to study the bible and hidden books taken out of the bible
  14. I am at peace
  15. I know how to breathe
  16. I know how to meditate
  17. I know what's important
  18. Being on lock-down feels like a hard reset
  19. All of my previous projects are now dovetailing towards becoming reality
  20. I like being alone and appreciate solace

Just grateful.  It's been eight years, two states moving home, new job, starting a business, and a cancer scare...since I wrote this post.  Grateful. 


April 25, 2020

One - on - One With My Son

I have been asking my son to experience the Black Folder Project and give me feedback for some time now.  With the quarantine because of the Corona Virus we were able to make that happen last Sunday.

The day before he had been walking around looking depressed (and he's NEVER depressed).  He's watched me go through countless depressions over the years, but I've never seen him depressed.  He explained it to me what was going on...and then agreed to "talk about his death".

I had to really pray about this because the purpose of the Project is to show  people the value of their lives, reflect on that and start anew since they are still alive.  I mean I really prayed hard that going through the exercises in the booklet would be helpful to help and help him get out of his depression.

So, Sunday morning came and I was cleaning and didn't even bother him about when (time) he wanted to go over the workshop material.  I had gone to the shop the day before and gotten all the materials I would need. The below board, a workbook (I call a lifebook), calculator, mirror and a blackfolder project pen.  He came out of his room, still looking depressed, and said he wanted to go ahead and do the project now.  So, I gathered my materials and put them in the living room.

Once I started I realized that I was not in "trainer" mode.  Detached, working, going through the content/material.  I was in "mother" mode.  My son was hurting and I needed to help him. That changed EVERYTHING about my delivery of the material.

I realized as I was going through the material that I had started my black folder for him and that rang true through the review of the life book.

As I was telling the reason I started the project and I got to the part about back in July 2012 when I was going to have my first workshop while I was living in Charlotte and the reason it didn't happen was because my mother (his grandmother) died, I completely broke down in tears.

I just cried. 

February 16, 2020

Retooling The Project

Things are starting to come together. 

Back in 2001 when I started my own black folder it was out of necessity because it was after 9-11 and and I was flying a lot for work back then. 

In 2012 when I thought of The Black Folder Project as something for others to experience it was before it's time. 

When I got breast cancer in 2019 and daily could have died, it was like a fire was lit.  I just kept thinking...are people kidding themselves?  Tomorrow is not promised, face it, enjoy each day but get your affairs in order. 

Today I picked-up the book A Beginner's Guide to the End and realize it's an idea whose time has come. Folks are finally ready to be practical about death and stop pretending it's not going to happen. 

Moving forward with turning the shop into a place for those who are ready to clean up their affairs and not leave their family a mess when they leave. Moving forward...