April 25, 2020

One - on - One With My Son

I have been asking my son to experience the Black Folder Project and give me feedback for some time now.  With the quarantine because of the Corona Virus we were able to make that happen last Sunday.

The day before he had been walking around looking depressed (and he's NEVER depressed).  He's watched me go through countless depressions over the years, but I've never seen him depressed.  He explained it to me what was going on...and then agreed to "talk about his death".

I had to really pray about this because the purpose of the Project is to show  people the value of their lives, reflect on that and start anew since they are still alive.  I mean I really prayed hard that going through the exercises in the booklet would be helpful to help and help him get out of his depression.

So, Sunday morning came and I was cleaning and didn't even bother him about when (time) he wanted to go over the workshop material.  I had gone to the shop the day before and gotten all the materials I would need. The below board, a workbook (I call a lifebook), calculator, mirror and a blackfolder project pen.  He came out of his room, still looking depressed, and said he wanted to go ahead and do the project now.  So, I gathered my materials and put them in the living room.

Once I started I realized that I was not in "trainer" mode.  Detached, working, going through the content/material.  I was in "mother" mode.  My son was hurting and I needed to help him. That changed EVERYTHING about my delivery of the material.

I realized as I was going through the material that I had started my black folder for him and that rang true through the review of the life book.

As I was telling the reason I started the project and I got to the part about back in July 2012 when I was going to have my first workshop while I was living in Charlotte and the reason it didn't happen was because my mother (his grandmother) died, I completely broke down in tears.

I just cried.