Beautiful Scars

How many scars do you have? I have too many to count. 

Consider your scars beautiful. Wear them proud like a tattoo.

 Listen to Merry Clayton about how to endure. 

Coming Full Circle with a Synchronistic Moment

This month I came full circle and had a synchronistic moment. 

It was my first day manning the United Healthcare Medicare kiosk in Walgreens.

Many of my previous “jobs” and experiences came into place:

-         NC Credit Union – Setting up booths and tables to market the Credit Union, greeting the public and answering questions

-         VA Credit Union – Creating and teaching a robbery training class…it was a public place and anything can happen

-         -NC Police Department – Keeping my head on a swivel and paying attention even if it looked like I wasn’t paying attention

-         VA and NC Art Shows– Setting up for art shows, greeting and talking to people

A gentleman walked in who was about 35-40 years old, dressed in a nice pair of jeans, a shirt (don’t remember the color), some copper-colored tennis shoes and a hat with the same copper color in the initials on the cap.  He said hello and I responded back.  

I then noticed him in the check-out line which had grown to about 4-5 people.  I don’t remember what he purchased but heard him ask about the flowers and the cashier saying they were for Breast Cancer Month.  He picked up a bunch and continued to wait in line. I thought how nice and thoughtful that was of him to get them for someone who had been through or going through breast cancer. 

June 2019 Surgeons, Ports, MRI, Body Scans and Oncology

6/4/19 - Appt with Primary Care and Surgeon

8:30 a.m. with primary care I hadn't seen in a while.  Basic Physical and prescription refill for blood pressure medicine which at this point seems like a minor issue. She tells me the Oncologist will be my doctor through the cancer treatment and I should come back and see her in a year.  Easy. Done. 

1:30 p.m. with Surgeon who will cut the cancer out. Waiting for about 30 minutes before I saw him.  The "Cancer Navigator" was there.  She was helpful and comforting but always has this worried look on her face which sometimes cancelled out the "you're going to be okay".

The doctor comes in and asks me a few questions then examines me.

He says the tumor is large and today it would not be a lumpectomy so we need to shrink it down. Okay.  He asks me do I have questions...and yes I had many.  I pulled out the "Cancer Binder" the "Cancer Navigator" had given me before I knew for sure I had cancer.  I'd read it and highlighted it.  We went over the type of cancer, how large the tumor is now and what grade of Cancer I had. He told me 2B mostly because of the size and no positive lymph nodes involved, so it hasn't spread.

He told me I might want to consider having a "port" put in for Chemo.  My eyes rolled back in my head and I just felt sick.  Geese can we go back.  What is going on....this is crazy. He cuts that conversation short and said I don't have to decide yet...all the while he knows this will happen. Anyways he was a kind man and I'm glad he's my surgeon. 

6/6/19 - MRI

The surgeon ordered a breast MRI he wanted before and after MRI's so I guess he can see what he's working with when surgery comes.  The MRI was about an hour being completely still.  I was grateful I knew how to meditate and keep still.  It was peaceful.  No pulling or prodding just noises and movement.  The ladies were nice, and it was a good experience. 

6/10/19 - Oncologist

I instantly liked the Oncologist.  She was straight foreword as well.  She read all of the reports and said it was curative.  Told me that I would need to get the port placed and the reason was it would make chemo easier to administer. She also said she needed more tests - Echo cardiogram to make sure my heart was good, CT scan to see if there were any other things going on and Bone Scan to see if there was cancer in my bones.  I can remember worrying about the bone scan because my knees, elbow and top of my eyebrow had been hurting for some time and my dog ESCO had died of bone cancer. She told me about chemo and chemo training. She told me Chemo would kill the cancer cells and stop them from growing and hopefully shrink the tumor.  She was very nice and I was happy to end up under her care.