This time the Neulasta half dose put me down like the full dose. I was in the bed again for two days almost unable to move. Too painful to remember how painful....just remember it was shocking to be so sick.
After Chemo ended Short Term Disability has been a bear. They only approve it from doctor appointment to doctor appointment. Then you have to call and get an extension and send in medical records. Also got an email from Leave Administration and from the Insurance company about Long Term Disability and that seemed like even more red-tape. I have to get back to work before January 25th or it will go into LTD. Pray. I still wonder how guys in the yard get through all these deadlines and paperwork. There definitely needs to be more help....a coach....to assist employees through this process. It's hard to do all of this while you are sick.
Surviving the MRI
I had the follow-up MRI. I remembered that I had to stay completely still for thirty minutes and that hadn't been a problem for me. When I got in the tube my nose was running and I couldn't do anything about it but watch it drip in the tube. I was doing pretty good but all of a sudden I started to get HOT. I mean deathly hot. I thought I was going to pass out. I finally said something and they stopped the machine, came in the room and started taking the blanket off of me, my hospital socks, lifted up my gown from my back and ran a fan to cool me off. I was sweating profusely. I felt better and we continued but it was scary.
Surgeon Appointment about Surgery
Well...the MRI showed something was there. The surgeon showed me the results and said it was flat and long and doing a lumpectomy was going to be a challenge BUT he could do it.
I finally could breathe.
I had been holding my breath for a long time waiting on the confirmation that I could KEEP MY BREAST. I mean really. To me it is RIDICULOUS that women lose their breast. Cut off. I mean its like do men get their private part CUT OFF like women do because of cancer? NO they do not.
I think about the mammogram which is the start of the "breast cancer process". Now, ALL women who have gone through a mammogram KNOW that there is NO reason that procedure should be that antiquated and PAINFUL. It is like a vise grip. There must be a better way.
If the mammogram which is the start of the process is jacked-up then you can expect the rest of process to be "wanting" and then the end of the process culminates in LOSING a body part. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
So I breathe a sign of relief because I KNOW if I had another surgeon who didn't care about my desire to KEEP MY BREAST or played power games it could be all different. I could be facing a mastectomy...deformity...a big L.
Some how The Almighty God had found this surgeon for me. A superstar in the area. A sought after surgeon. I leave the office just feeling grateful....grateful...grateful.
The Port Removal
I called the oncology office because I hadn't heard from them getting the okay to remove the port during surgery. I get a call back from the doctor's assistant and she said that because the MRI is still showing something is there we need to leave the port in until we see the pathology report. Good Grief. Is anybody thinking about the cost??? This is the only bad thing to happen. I gotta take the big win (keep breast) with the lost (keep port). I don't fight it...although I want to.