Prepare Before Life Disruption

Most people feel like they are prepared… until something happens. Everything is fine while life is running normally. Bills are being paid, accounts are accessible, and decisions are easy to make because
the person who manages everything is still able to do so.

The problem is not during normal times. The problem shows up when something interrupts that normal flow.

• A hospital stay.
• An unexpected illness.
• A situation where someone else suddenly has to step in and make decisions.

That is when the gaps become clear.

• Important documents are scattered or hard to find
• Account information is not easily accessible
• No one is quite sure what needs to be handled first
• Family members are left trying to figure things out in real time

The issue is not the event itself. It is the lack of preparation before it.

This is where the Black Folder Project comes in. It is not about reacting in a crisis. It is about getting organized before one ever happens. The focus is simple:

• Gathering important information in one place so it can be found when it is needed
• Making key decisions ahead of time instead of under pressure
• Creating clarity for the people who may need to step in
• Reducing confusion during moments that are already stressful

Preparation does not stop life from changing. It creates stability when it does. The goal is not perfection, it is progress. Even taking the time to organize a few key pieces of information can make a meaningful difference when it matters most.

That is why the Black Folder Project is centered around one idea:

What can be done BEFORE the emergency, BEFORE the decision, and BEFORE the stress begins?

Because when those moments come, and they will, preparation is what turns uncertainty into stability.

Most Families Are One Event Away From Instability

When people first hear about the Black Folder Project, they often assume it is about death planning. It is not, it is about stability.

Most families today are functioning without realizing how much of their daily life depends on things
continuing normally. Income continues. Health continues. Access continues. Bills get paid. Information is known. Someone knows what to do.

But what happens when one event interrupts that normal flow?

• A hospitalization
• A job loss
• A disability
• A death
• Even something as simple as someone not being able to speak for themselves

The real problem most families face is not the event itself. It is the instability that follows because nothing was organized beforehand.

• Accounts no one can access.
• Policies no one can find.
• Decisions no one prepared to make.
• Family members guessing instead of knowing.

The Black Folder is simply a stability tool. A place where important information lives so families are not forced to create order during chaos. Preparedness is not about expecting something bad to happen. It is about creating stability so that if life becomes unstable, your family is not starting from zero.

In many ways, this connects to my broader work through Ridea Works, where I study how instability shows up in work and life and how people can create structures that help them remain steady when disruption occurs.

The Black Folder Project is one of those structures. It's not a legal product or a financial product it is a stability practice for everyday families.   Most families are not one plan away from stability. They are one event away from realizing they needed one.

Walking Through Our History: Tour of Williamsburg’s Slavery Past

On August 15, 2025, I chose to spend my birthday walking through the layers of truth buried in Colonial Williamsburg. I took the Williamsburg Slavery Tour to understand more about the lives of the enslaved people who built this land and the systems that profited from their labor.  These systems still impact us today.

This was our Tour Guide Lonnie Sanifer.  He as great, interesting, and very knowledgeable.

The Tour Begins: Windmill Farm and the Reality of Tobacco Labor

We began at the Windmill Farm, surrounded by corn stalks and a few tobacco plants. 

Our guide explained how tobacco had to be checked every day for worms. Enslaved people worked from sunup to sundown, cutting, curing, and rolling tobacco leaves into hogsheads holding up to 1,000 pounds. 

Each hogshead was tagged with a log number, similar to a checkbook entry. That number was sent to an agent in London to credit the landowner once the shipment arrived. These owners were often “cash poor” not because they lacked wealth, but because their entire economic system was built on unpaid labor.

Tell Your Story Before You're Gone

Last week, I had the privilege of attending the Hampton Storytelling Festival, and it stirred something deep in me.

It was more than entertainment. It was a soul revival.

People from all walks of life stepped up to the mic to share their truth. Their humor. Their heartbreak. Their journey. And somewhere in the listening, I found a piece of myself again.

This WHRO article captured the heart of the festival beautifully:
Artists showcase heart and humor at Hampton Storytelling Festival – WHRO

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The Power of Story

We all have a story. Whether we whisper it, write it, or live it loudly, it matters.

Your story may not be perfect. It may be messy, unfinished, or hard to tell. But that does not make it any less valuable.

One thing I walked away with is this: If you don’t tell your story, who will?

Not just the highlights, not just the struggles, but the moments in between. The quiet strength. The unspoken hope. The chapters you are still trying to write.

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Take It Early, Take Control: Why Waiting To Take Social Security Might Not Be the Best Move

Everyone’s heard it: “Wait until 70 to take Social Security so you’ll get a bigger check!”

That sounds good in theory, but let’s be honest: no one knows how long they’ll live, and the Social

Security system may not even look the same five or ten years from now.

So here’s the smarter question:
Why give up over $100,000 between ages 67 and 70 in hopes that you’ll live long enough to "make it back"?

Here’s why taking Social Security at 67 (or even earlier) might be the better move:

1. You’re here now.
We can't predict the future, but we know we’re alive today. Starting benefits at 67 guarantees income while you're still healthy enough to enjoy it.

2. You can save it or invest it.
If you don’t need the money right away, that’s even better. You can save those checks, invest them, or use them strategically. If something unexpected happens, your family can inherit what you saved. With Social Security, once you're gone, the checks stop.

3. Waiting is a gamble.
Yes, your monthly benefit grows if you wait, but it typically takes until age 82 or 83 to "break even" and come out ahead. That assumes you live that long but not everyone does.

4. The system is under pressure.
Social Security’s trust fund is expected to be partially depleted in the early 2030s. If that happens, benefits may be reduced by as much as 25%. That means waiting could actually backfire.

5. You’ve earned the right to choose.
This isn’t just about maximizing a government benefit. It’s about minimizing regret, taking control of your money, and building a legacy your family can benefit from.

Final thought

You’ve spent decades paying into the system. Taking your benefits earlier doesn’t mean you're leaving money on the table it means you’re putting yourself first. The longer you wait, the more you leave up to chance.

When the Future Is Uncertain, Organize What You Can

Life has always been full of surprises, but in today’s world—where health crises, job instability, and social changes are all around us—the idea of “getting your house in order” isn’t just good advice... it’s 
essential.

This post is about why organizing your personal affairs is a powerful act of self-respect, love, and clarity—and when you should start (hint: it’s now).

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Why Organize Your Personal Affairs?

Reason	Why It Matters
Uncertainty is constant	You don’t know when a crisis will come—being prepared reduces stress and confusion
No one else will do it for you	Loved ones shouldn’t be left guessing about your wishes
It brings peace of mind	You feel more grounded when your affairs are in order
It’s an act of love	Your family won’t have to scramble to make tough decisions
It helps you live with intention	Organizing your life forces you to reflect on what matters most

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When Should You Start?

NOW.

We wait for a better time, but the truth is:

• Should you do it before retirement? Yes.
• While you’re healthy? Absolutely.
• After a major life event (divorce, death, diagnosis)? Also yes, but don’t wait for that wake-up call.

Don’t wait for a crisis to start caring about your values, your time, or your legacy.

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Creating A Will

 ​Creating a will is a vital step in ensuring that your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your loved ones are taken care of after your passing. While consulting an attorney is advisable for complex estates, many individuals can draft a simple will on their own using available resources. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you through the process:

1. Decide How You'll Write Your Will

There are several methods to create a will:

• Hire an Attorney: For complex estates or specific legal concerns, consulting an estate planning attorney is recommended.
• Online Will-Making Services: Platforms like LegalZoom and FreeWill offer guided templates to create legally binding wills.
• Do-It-Yourself (DIY): With the right resources, you can draft your own will. Ensure it complies with state laws to be considered valid.

Another Day, Another Week, Another Year

Today, I am celebrating five years breast cancer free! It feels like a gift wrapped in resilience and hope. The results of my latest mammogram came back clear, and I am grateful. 

Breast cancer is a chapter in my life that taught me to cherish each day and live to the fullest. The treatments and uncertainty are now behind me, replaced by a sense of gratitude for the life I have today. 

For anyone currently battling breast cancer or who has come out the other side, I want to tell you this: you can move forward. You can live without that nagging worry of going back through “cancer stuff" (at least until the next check-up).

Looking Ahead: A Healthier and Kinder Me

Brent Simpson CMPD Officer an Exceptional Human Being

When I logged into Facebook to look at E2M Fitness information I saw the below post from CMPD about Brent:  

I worked with Brent at the CMPD training academy for many years. He was such an exceptional human being. He was one of those people that you KNOW when you meet them that you are blessed to have run across their path in this earthly journey. 

In 2012 when I started doing art/pyrography  I sat up a table at a Cornelius art show and Brent and his girlfriend Gina saw me and stopped by my table.  I was just starting the craft, enjoyed doing it but it was a work in progress. Below is the piece that Brent brought from me that day (it is not totally finished here...): 

"Made Up" Holidays

 Even before COVID I was over these "made-up" holidays.  

Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, even Christmas

During COVID I thought finally others will see that every day we should appreciate each other, remember lost loved ones, be grateful and give gifts to those we love. 

Nope.  Here we are with another year of the nonsense. 

Mother's Day just passed and you are suppose to what? take your mother out to eat? buy a card? buy a gift? buy flowers?  All of those things are nice to get and even nice to give but you don't and shouldn't wait for a made-up day to do any of these things. 

I don't like seeing the stress people are under to pretend like these days are special.  They are just plain stressful and filled with buying stuff. 

Just appreciate each other every day and don't get stressed out on these made-up days. 

Skip To The Car

 Another year. "Oh Please Let Me Live Another Year Without Cancer."

Another Mammogram.

Another time to hold your breath and now breathe.

Another wait for the test results. 

Another year I got to skip to the car! (Actually I skipped half-way to the car because I didn't get the results while I was still there.  They changed me from diagnostic mammograms to screening mammograms...so it's not as intense.)

I decided; even though I didn't know FOR SURE there wasn't anything found; to still skip to the car.  I'm glad I did because by the time I got back home they had the test results on MYchart. 

Beautiful.

Grateful.

Thankful. 

Joyful. 

Skip to the Car! Skip throughout your life. Just Skip!!!

Having A Black Folder Is Needed Today More Than Ever

I can understand why people are afraid to talk about death, theirs or anyone else's.

It's not a pleasant topic.  

It's scary to think we will not exist or that our loved ones will no longer be with us.  But after COVID-19 and many dying at the hands of guns just going through normal life activities we must confront it. 

Many people think just talking about death brings it on. 

I understand that fear. It makes sense.

Having a Black Folder is about understanding one day you will not be here and starting from that day you create your black folder jump starts honing in on the legacy you want to leave behind...for your family...for the world. 

Yes, it is scary but think of the alternative...not facing the inevitable, leaving your family unprepared and not working towards living a life well-lived.  

 The Black Folder Project helps individuals and families have a step-by-step plan to end of life planning. 

Hold Your Breath

 Hold Your Breath...

This is what they tell you when they take the mammogram image.

Breathe...

This is what they tell you after they take the image.

Hold Your Breath takes on a new meaning when you go in for a diagnostic mammogram after having breast cancer. They take image after image.  They take magnifying images.  They show those images to the radiologist to review while you are there waiting.  They want to know if they need to take more images.  They need to know if they need to do a ultrasound.  All of those things mean that the radiologist has seen something that's concerning and your cancer may have returned. 

Each year this is the hardest 15 minutes of waiting of my life. 

• 
• 15 minutes to wonder if I can go on living without cancer treatment. 
• 15 minutes to wonder if I can go on with "my life plans" or if as my mother put it..."you can't run God's program"...does God have other ideas for my life...you know like time's up.  
• 15 minutes praying they don't find anything.
• 15 minutes of...holding your breath.

I promised myself if I could walk out of there without them finding anything that I would skip to the car. 

I got to skip to the car today!  

Another year to be grateful for still being alive, doing what God wants me to do, and being kind to all that  cross my path. 

 

Coming Full Circle with a Synchronistic Moment

This month I came full circle and had a synchronistic moment. 

It was my first day manning the United Healthcare Medicare kiosk in Walgreens.

Many of my previous “jobs” and experiences came into place:

-         NC Credit Union – Setting up booths and tables to market the Credit Union, greeting the public and answering questions

-         VA Credit Union – Creating and teaching a robbery training class…it was a public place and anything can happen

-         -NC Police Department – Keeping my head on a swivel and paying attention even if it looked like I wasn’t paying attention

-         VA and NC Art Shows– Setting up for art shows, greeting and talking to people

A gentleman walked in who was about 35-40 years old, dressed in a nice pair of jeans, a shirt (don’t remember the color), some copper-colored tennis shoes and a hat with the same copper color in the initials on the cap.  He said hello and I responded back.  

I then noticed him in the check-out line which had grown to about 4-5 people.  I don’t remember what he purchased but heard him ask about the flowers and the cashier saying they were for Breast Cancer Month.  He picked up a bunch and continued to wait in line. I thought how nice and thoughtful that was of him to get them for someone who had been through or going through breast cancer. 

Another One Gone To Soon - Hollis G. Mason

Another one of my son’s high school friends was murdered. 

He was in town for their 20-year high school reunion.

He went to get some food and someone came up to him and killed him. Shot him while his daughter and family waited for the food to come, instead they got the unthinkable that he wasn’t coming back home, he was not ever coming back home because someone had decided to play God as my son said.

So here I sit, in a different place than the last time this happened to one of his high school friends. I have the black folder project (may need to update the booklet, but I have it and can roll with it) but now I also can provide life insurance if someone needs it…and everyone needs it.

Somehow my heart feels like it is on the floor outside of my body.  It feels kind of hard to breath. Every mother knows this feeling.  At least every “so called black” mother does (another day for why I put so called black in quotes).  It is heart wrenching.  It is not your child but you feel some level of anguish for the mother of that child.   It is just heart wrenching. 

As I Sit Quietly, Watching The World

 Water Lapping

Wind Blowing

Kids Laughing

Lawn Mowers Mowing

Bushes Waving

Hearts Pounding

Sun Setting

Birds Flying

Pages Ruffling

Lips Smiling

Remember You Are STILL Dying

 You can't go through life thinking about cancer returning

There is no cancer 

Remember when cancer was the answer? 

Remember when you thought you were dying? 

Remember that you are STILL dying

Just because you "beat" cancer doesn't mean you are not STILL dying

Everyday you wake up and go to sleep you are dying over and over again

Beautiful Scars

How many scars do you have? I have too many to count. 

Consider your scars beautiful. Wear them proud like a tattoo.

 Listen to Merry Clayton about how to endure. 

Article about Merry's Accident and This Song

If you don't know who Merry Clayton is...listen to this!!!

Meditation and the Death of Thich Nhat Hanh

 Thich Nhat Hanh the Zen master, Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, teacher, author and poet died on January 22, 2022.  

This hit me hard. 

I learned to love his books and mindfulness movement. 

I learned how to do walking meditation by reading his book.

I looked for and found a sangha when I lived in Charlotte. 

The Insurance Industry and Agents

 I am astonished, almost to the point of being amazed. Let me explain. 

After you past the insurance test and get licensed in the state you past the test, that is the end. 

Everything is radio silence, UNLESS you were doing this to work as a captive agent.  

A captive agent means that you work FOR an insurance company...like Allstate.  A JOB. 

If you are doing this to be "uncaptive" or a "broker" to represent several insurance companies then nothing, you are totally on your own to figure it out. 

As I was studying for my license the topic/type of insurance that interested me the most was for eldery - Medicare.  I also certainly have an interest in Cancer Insurance (I know the importance of it) and Life Insurance, but when I looked at where to start it seemed to me that everyone turning 65 will need Medicare so you have people who actually need the insurance.